Archive | May, 2011

Method and Trainers

22 May

Think snake oil and travelling salesman and you won’t go far wrong. Whilst the exception may prove the rule, dressage method is a deliberately one size fits all attempt (usually successful at least for a fad period) to prey on the insecurity and wallets of those still convinced that dressage is a sport (thus thinking they may achieve success by actually riding better). Look for the book and the video and there is method not far behind.

The best methods which produce success are then declared cruel and foreign (in no particular order), normally in the promotion of another equally uniform and expensive method of the detractor ( with accompanying video and interview in the equestrian press). Thus rollkur goes from highly successful method of training champions to engage to cruel hyperflexion, by judicious use of video clips.

Horses are different and may even need special and individual treatment, and even the least observant THF can spot a method a mile off – especially when the cheques start flowing. Advice from an experienced THF – look for a trainer who actually seems to give a damn, doesn’t spend their time either on the mobile to a much more important client whilst teaching the Funded or (even worse) convincing the Funded :
that they are useless riders and/or
that their horse would be much better ridden by another client(or them) and/or
that the combination would be fantastic with the benefit of a lot more (expensive) lessons and/or
that the Funded would do much better on a horse that just happens to be in the nearby box at a bargain price (this is about the worst as the technique – but not usually the horse – often works)
A good and helpful, supportive trainer who cares is to the THF worth their weight in gold. More depression has been caused by trainers in dressage than almost any other field of human endeavour. The opportunities for undermining the confidence of those genuinely seeking help and support are legion and the temptation to be Svengali is often too strong to resist.

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Horses

13 May

This one should be easy. At one level of course the easiest thing in the world is to buy a horse (conversely the most difficult is to sell one – something this THF has never known achieved). But buying the right one – there’s the rub. First rule is that any horse for sale is clearly not good enough (otherwise it would not be for sale). Second rule is that however well you vet it at least 50% will go permanently lame very quickly – at which point you will be told that everyone knew this one had been on the market for ages and that it had had suspensory/foot/back issues for years. Indeed didn’t you know it had been out of competition for a year? Third rule is watch out for auctions which to the lay observer are simply bizarre. Why anyone would buy a horse that has been ridden to extremes for a week before the sale at an age when elsewhere many haven’t even been broken seems frankly extraordinary – but we all fall for it (at least once), and what would we know anyway. As for recommendations from trainers, enough said.

There is of course a point at which you can either be lucky, or you have enough money to buy a guaranteed team horse/pony. Thus the sale of Totilas has limited risk (other than of egg on face – and lots of rather enjoyable schadenfreude) and great ponies simply stay on a team and tolerate successive riders rich enough to afford them. The alternative purist approach to buy young, break them yourself and wait is admirable and excellent, but for the THF somewhat frustrating and inevitably risky. Indeed it can be as expensive as you need to buy quantity to ensure surviving quality and they never get sold (as in ” this will be a great investment” – not!) The idea that any Funded will ever sell a horse they have bought at 1 and raised and broken themselves is simply laughable, if understandable. In a nutshell therefore, you are lost.

The Horsebox (the language of loot)

6 May

You may think that the purpose of a horsebox is to move a horse from A to B in relative safety. Think again THF novice. Your horsebox shrieks ambition, money and exclusivity. From paintwork to pop-out, satellite dish to showers (horse and human). they are a deliberate and massive statement: from the “mine is bigger than yours”, through “I may be a rubbish rider but wouldn’t the team love travelling in this” to” if Daddy can afford this just think what sort of horse/pony he can buy me”.

The long suffering THF may well wonder why it isn’t better to spend a fraction of the price of a luxury ( and probably illegally over-weight) horsebox when he could afford to stay in a 5-star hotel near the venues. Confusion is compounded by the fact that hardly anyone who has a really expensive box actually ever stays in it (that is for the grooms). So we are back to the statement that the box makes and a few key rules if you want to progress –

  • A serious aspiring team member must have an appropriate box to help the team/selectors decide to select you.
  • You don’t need ludicrous picture and statements – sponsorship shows you can’t afford it yourself. The expensive horse box speaks for itself.
  • Make sure as a THF you cannot drive the horsebox ( however pricey). Experience suggests that an early scrape/crash avoids future calls on time (see also Reading Dressage Tests) and ideally can get you a permanent ban.
  • If you have to watch a dressage show make sure you have flexibility to arrive as the test begins and leave before the (inevitably delayed and disappointing) prize giving. The “just in time” approach works as well for dressage as distribution.

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