The art of dressage may appear to be a somewhat limp attempt at manly sport at first sight, with balletic terminology and bling obsessed accoutrements. And I guess it is a little less kamikaze than Eventing. However be under no illusions that the funded is safe (unless you really have spent a shed load on a bomb proof genius) in this activity. Horses and ponies are basically bonkers and regularly try to maim or murder those who spend their lives looking after them. Somewhat perverse but keep an eye on the following and keep a hotline to casualty. Never be taken in by –
“I’ll break it myself as no one else will understand it and they will only ruin it” brigade. This guarantees urgent calls at work from hospital or returning home to a regular stoic denial of pain as bruises break our following a buck/fall/kick. Funder should fork out for third party help.
“Stallions are so much more supple/active” – all the better to bite you and kick you (and anyone else in the vicinity). Funder should snip quick.
“Some of my best talent and sweetest stock have been chestnut mares”. Funder should remember that when the mare in question is standing stock still at a regional competition with her head to the heavens refusing to move and with torn tendons on the forearms, and embarrassed competitor spitting “good girl” out of the corner of her mouth.
“Shetlands are nice” – not technically a dressage point – but a lie all the same you must know as your funded gets dragged under a branch just high enough for the pony to get under and amply low enough to knock the head off the rider.
So basically you are paying loads of cash to hospitalise your family.
Not for the faint-hearted
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