Tag Archives: horse for sale

Success

9 Mar

A sad thing about success is that in addition to it breeding jealousy, it also breeds inevitable sale, which also breeds gossip (which horse people are especially good at and enjoy).

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a really successful horse is for sale at the right price; this is after all a business, but with desperate buyers demanding ready-made success at any price (it being boring and difficult to train your own) for their vaguely talented offspring/pet professional/or patriotic pride. Whilst true that you cannot win without the right horse the alacrity with which people can throw their money at success without thought or care to how it looks to others remains extraordinary. Actually they do not care as when you win all that is forgotten and no-one else cares either, and as long as everyone knows how much you spent and where you got it, heaven help the judge who marks you down.

Post Championship fervour will no doubt result in the socialistic redistribution of talent and wealth across the globe. And much fun for the rumour mongers.

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The Injured Horse

20 Jun
The injured horse is the most traumatic event (or rather ongoing drama) possible to imagine. Whether it is a first time hairy or a multi-million pound grand prix horse the unfolding story is always the same, always expensive and almost always requires psychiatric help. how you get there is a many headed hydra but the results are the same –
 
1. Know that all horses are stupid – it is just that some are more stupid than others: it is perhaps no wonder that the Funded reaches the point where box rest is the norm (though as we shall see that is really circular). The extreme danger and risk of putting a horse in a field should never be underestimated ( and certainly not commented on by the Funder). Fields have –
  • MUD – guaranteed to tear off shoes and give mud rash
  • WILD LIFE – guaranteed to take off and appear unexpectedly and terrify the sensitive horse into galloping in panic until he loses a shoe or his life
  • PASSERS BY – worse that wild life as they might try and say help, and bound to be ion the look out for horsenappers.
  • PAPER BAGS – clearly out to attack
  • PASSING CARS (see bags); and worst of all
  • GRASS – which guarantees laminitis.
Even the act of getting to a field is fraught with danger as terrors lurk in the hedgerow and each gust of wind a hostile and frightening adventure.
 
Hence a stupid horse ( ie all of them) will always assume the worst ( like their owner), panic and injure themselves at the first opportunity if allowed to go into a filed. WHICH IS BAD.
 
2.  Know that all unlevelness is terminal
 
Once a horse has been in a field and moved, the assumption is that he is injured. And once injured, terminally so. AND THAT IS REALLY BAD. In particular –
  • Any sign of unlevelness is catastrophic and career ending, notwithstanding rocky ground, thorns, stiffness from competition, natural gait etc etc. And the funded sees lameness everywhere
  • Once unlevelness is seen a vet is called (with X-ray). This inevitably leads to further paranoia as no X-ray in history has ever been 100% clean
  • This leads to box rest, which should be fine except that (see above) all horses are stupid so that as soon as they get put into a safe box they want t o get out into a field ( where they will inevitably be injured ) In trying to get to the field from the box indeed they will often achieve injury in any event.
All of which means that whether in a box or in a field a horse will always be or at least be seen to be injured and probably terminally ill. RESULT MISERY (for everyone).
 
The misery of an ill horse cannot truly be described. It is a black cloud away from normal unhappiness and is all pervasive and Dementor-like in its ability to suck the joy from life of the funded and the Funder (and all else).
 
Thus the “sport” designed to give pleasure actually delivers ongoing misery. WHICH IS BAD.
 
This of course describes the amateur funded. A more pragmatic approach pervades the professional arena where it appears to the uninitiated external lay observer to be more a case of a production line, with desperate need for success leading to regular rejection of non-perfect and over faced specimens counterbalanced by a constant stream of well-sponsored acquisition which to the amateur funded would be inconceivable. It is actually unclear who is the unhappiest; the permanently miserable amateur (see above) or the constantly  desperate pro with the strain of having to win and rarely doing so, thus being consigned to penurious mediocrity. This leads to much bitterness and bad behaviour, as seen elsewhere, and makes dressage the sport it is.
 

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Around the ring at an all day show

1 Jan

In the sun-baked torment of an all day dressage show – all day meaning how long you have to stay rather than the 6 minutes of competition – the mind can turn to people watching. The ebb and flow of teams as they roll up, prepare and then compete is a fascinating window on the weird world of dressage. Again there are tiers of teams –

– Formula One – full on pit team of technicians an dangers on to change tyres (bandages), fill tanks , wipe brow of driver/rider/horse, carry jackets,spout tactics, training and psychology. Usually accompanying the mandatory union-jacketed, perfectly presented rider with a bespoke trainer and latest communications system; making sure that notwithstanding the comms pack everyone can hear the training loud and clear. This caravan of hired help and hangers on follows from pop out to working in, to competition arena and on to score board with matching jackets and sycophantic commentary interacting with other teams only occasionally and with suspicion. This team is especially prevalent for ponies where the hierarchy of very rich (non-horsey) high achieving owner/daddy stands close to (very lucky) highly paid trainer, with orders barked to protégée who usually reacts by pulling even harder on the expensive pony’s mouth to “get it up (and through)” and throwing a strop when it objects ( presumably on the basis that how could it object when you have spent so much on it)…. Formula One teams are expensive and successful.

– Formula 3 – may share a trainer but will have a dedicated groom and probably a mother to follow doggedly around and prepare the horse/pony which the rider couldn’t possibly be expected to do. A smaller entourage at ringside but usually a few hangers on to support the team enthusiastically. No union jack I am afraid as they cannot afford it. Formula 3 are small tour and want to be Formula One.

– Formula None – there is always one, turning up alone and groomless in an old box. The team is really just the horse and rider and they live in a permanent state of hyper-anxiety as to how the get through the various tests with no help other than the charity of those around the ring to remove bandages or read the forgotten test. Formula None are relieved to simply to complete the test (and then go home to do the mucking out themselves).

These swirl in front of the observing horse funder who is desperate for the joyful success of Formula One but happy with the expense of Formula None.

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Success

1 Dec

There is no such thing as success in dressage, unless you ride Totilas, in which case just as you achieve it it is snatched away by someone richer than you. To the extent you achieve success on your own terms beware. A “successful” British rider is not quite good enough for the international circuit. A “successful” pony is an expensive old one which requires steering round the course by a rich young rider (to be handed on to the next in due course). A “successful” rider is a rich one training in the right yard with the right trainer and the right connections, with a flash Dutch/German horse recommended by the aforementioned trainer. A “successful” trainer sells a strange and usually foreign “method” , excluding all others and charging as much as possible whilst looking for the video and the next best thing.

True success of course is different and something the THF can only hope for in the Strictly synchronised swimming world of dressage. The personal satisfaction of training your difficult young horse to do the test; a place rosette; a happy and grateful child are not the stuff of true dressage, where patronage, backbiting and the following of rigid and fashionable form are the order of the day. Learn this quick and with cash you may truly find success as a THF.

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The International element

1 Sep

The best way to be considered truly excellent is to avoid competing in the UK (see also horses). Absence makes the reputation grow larger

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Method and Trainers

22 May

Think snake oil and travelling salesman and you won’t go far wrong. Whilst the exception may prove the rule, dressage method is a deliberately one size fits all attempt (usually successful at least for a fad period) to prey on the insecurity and wallets of those still convinced that dressage is a sport (thus thinking they may achieve success by actually riding better). Look for the book and the video and there is method not far behind.

The best methods which produce success are then declared cruel and foreign (in no particular order), normally in the promotion of another equally uniform and expensive method of the detractor ( with accompanying video and interview in the equestrian press). Thus rollkur goes from highly successful method of training champions to engage to cruel hyperflexion, by judicious use of video clips.

Horses are different and may even need special and individual treatment, and even the least observant THF can spot a method a mile off – especially when the cheques start flowing. Advice from an experienced THF – look for a trainer who actually seems to give a damn, doesn’t spend their time either on the mobile to a much more important client whilst teaching the Funded or (even worse) convincing the Funded :
that they are useless riders and/or
that their horse would be much better ridden by another client(or them) and/or
that the combination would be fantastic with the benefit of a lot more (expensive) lessons and/or
that the Funded would do much better on a horse that just happens to be in the nearby box at a bargain price (this is about the worst as the technique – but not usually the horse – often works)
A good and helpful, supportive trainer who cares is to the THF worth their weight in gold. More depression has been caused by trainers in dressage than almost any other field of human endeavour. The opportunities for undermining the confidence of those genuinely seeking help and support are legion and the temptation to be Svengali is often too strong to resist.

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